I had gone to Johnson City, Tennessee for Mother's Day weekend with my mom and my two boys. My best friend who I have know since infancy (and who is like a brother to me) had just put his dad in a nursing home. His dad was more like a dad to me growing up than my own was. Hubby (Jimmy C) stayed home because he had to work, he is a Fire Fighter, he also works a part time job as an EMT, and right now he is in paramedic school full time.
We left for our trip just like any other time we have gone on short trips. I talked to Jimmy C off and on while we were gone. On Saturday afternoon he called me pretty distraught, one of the Sherrif's Deputies got killed serving a warrant, we knew this deputy, he was close to our age and also had two small kids.
Sunday night my friend's dad died.
Monday we headed home.
I knew when I got home that Jimmy C wasn't ok, but I figured it had a lot to do with losing a deputy. We got the kids fed and in bed and I wanted to snuggle. I hadn't yet been able to mourn the loss of my friends dad. Jimmy C didn't want to snuggle, I knew then that something was terribly wrong. After pushing him to talk he said he wasn't happy, wasn't happy in our relationship, wasn't happy with me. I was devastated, I completely broke down. I didn't know what to do, at the time our baby was 6 months old, I couldn't believe I was hearing this, we had not ever had any relationship problems in the 9 years we had been together and the almost 7 we've been married. I knew that something had happened over the long weekend while I was gone. I knew it deep down in my soul. I asked him if there was a girl involved and he said no.
I cried almost all day every day, it was horrible. I work full time, I work Monday through Thursday, 10 hour days, I could hardly leave my office.
A couple of nights later I woke up and it came to me that I should look at his cell phone. In ALL the time we have been together I have never looked at his phone, never gone through his stuff, never not trusted him. So I looked at his phone and there in the text messages was the evidence that something was going on with a girl (K). I confronted him about it at 2 in the morning and asked him to stop talking to her. He said ok.
Turns out he didn't stop talking to her. A week later her husband was calling Jimmy C's cell phone at 3AM.
About a week after that I dropped the boys off at day care and staked out my own home. I waited until Jimmy C got home and gave him enough time to get in the shower. I snuck in and looked at his phone, there were more incriminating texts between him and K. I confronted him again. It was ugly, I told him I couldn't believe that he would do such a thing, and that he lied to me about it. Here I was recovering from an incredibly hard and complicated pregnancy with our second son, and having a bad case of the baby blues (he had previously asked me before what was wrong and I told him I thought I had the baby blues, turns out even though he said ok, that he didn't know what it was).
I lived in fear for days that I would come home from work one day and all his stuff would be gone. I couldn't believe that this was my life. It was so hard to pull myself together, but I had to keep it together for my boys. I am the only one with them a lot of the time. Fortunately, I have a supportive family, my mom is local and she was always there for me. My sister came into town for a week just to be here for me.
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